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Not so long ago, one of my dearest pals went to Japan to teach English. She is having a great time, meeting tons of awesome people and getting to see a ton of jealous-making sights all over Asia.

She's also become my personal importer of kawaii socks, cute stationary, delicious Japanese candy and Engrish.

Engrish, if you don't know, is one of the best things to happen to translation evar.

It's what happens when poorly made translation software is depended on by people who don't really speak English very well. A lot of it happens in Japan, but it's kind of a global phenomenon! It even happens in English speaking countries, when people get tattoos or wear shirts of languages they don't speak. Heck, there's also a website for Engrish-in-reverse --people who don't read Chinese trying to use it because they think it looks cool.

Since I very much heart the funny and odd things bad translation does to English, I had to try my own! So a few English proverbs and a few run-throughs of Babelfish (sometimes to Japanese and back to English, sometimes to Japanese and then to Italian and then to Greek and then back to English. Whatever it took!) later, and I have me some mangled proverbs ready to be embroidered into your favorite dish towels.

An embroidery hoop with the saying Morning shift hen will get worms stitched on it.

Original: The early bird catches the worm.
Engrishified: Morning shift hen will get worms.

An embroidery frame with the saying One day the absent doctor keeps an apple stitched on it.

Original: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Engrishified: One day the absent doctor keeps an apple.

A patch with the saying Life is exactly the dish of the cherry stitched on it

Original: Life is just a bowl of cherries.
Engrishified: Life is exactly the dish of the cherry.

A quilt square with the saying Laugh is the foremost drug stitched on it

Original: Laughter is the best medicine.
Engrishified: Laugh is the foremost drug.

A tasseled white pillow with the words Behavior is superior to the yell of words. stitched on it.

Original: Actions speak louder than words.
Engrishified: Behavior is superior to the yell of words.

BONUS! POST YR FINEST ENGRISH EXAMPLES IN THE COMMENTS, IF YA GOT 'EM!

This post brought to you by week eleventysomething of

therealljidol!

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I love the Cat very! It is loveliest!

Love it!

Oh and I love this one:

(http://engrishfunny.com/2010/02/22/engrish-empty-dog/)
see more Engrish (http://engrishfunny.com)

haha I love mistranslations too! Very funny!

Engrish is the -best-. My friend bought a vegetable peeler a few years ago that came with an instruction manual that was -classic-. I still have the email some where ...

Attention: Please at the time of dismantling wrappingly, be careful and do not run into the knife blade, because of for the wound hand easily.

The handle is placed in to slip away the slippery appearance descend (oil, water, wash away dirt etc.) to please do not make use.

Descend to please do not use at the appearance that transformed.

Yeah, what?!

I LOVE Engrish. I have a great Engrish sign about - well, I don't know what it's about, but I'm going to go see if I can find it and post a picture for you here, because it is GD hysterical...

...aaaand I found it. Here it is:

Brilliant. I know.

*laugh* My boss and I used to laugh at the Engrish we found in service and owners manuals for the digital cameras we repaired. :)

Aww, these are great!

I refuse the future? Sake gives eternal youth?!

*drinks sake and refuses the future!!!*

You Can't teach an old dog new tricks

To

They Can't notifies an old dog of new turn

Only on the national holiday, though, so, keep that in mind!

TEA IS HAPPY MAKER WARM BEVERAGE QUEEN! WOW!

Bwahah! Somebody think of the poor dogs!

They are too much fun!

ixhjdio

That is 1000x more confusing than helpful, bwahaha.

Sake does a lot of weird things...XD

XD Hours of entertainment!

They were way funner to make than they are to read, prolly! XD

ZOMGAHAHA

I shoulda used that one too!

I love engrish.com SO much... and I do love your homemade proverbs!

Very cute idea!

Finally, for reasons.

Yeah, that explains EVERYTHING. lol!!

<3 treeson

Only on the national holiday, though, I believe. Or if you're healing the dryness of the place. :)

Another fabulous entry. <3<3<3

My favourite Engrish!

CAN NOT REFUSET!

Haha, funny...:)

Truly hilarious!

One of my first jobs was secretary to a German woman who came over to head the U.S. branch of a German publishing company. She asked me to help her with her English by editing her letters as I typed them. One of the first ones she wrote, in which she was asking to speak with the President of another company began "I would like to have intercourse with..." because in some Thesaurus she had been looking at "intercourse" was listed as a synonym for "conversation".

I really sort of love the last one and genuiunely need that pillow (or 3) for my couch. :)

I'm glad that you pointed out that "Engrish" happens across all cultures, because too often it becomes a case of "Oh, look at those wacky Japanese people!" and I think that's really offensive.

A lot of my translations for Old Norse class looked a lot like those, though. Same with Czech. Translating into English is hard. >.

Hahahaha! As a Spanish teacher, I love foreign language foul-ups!
I can't think of a one good example right at the moment, but I do know that in some countries it is aceptable to say their word equivalent for "catch the bus", but in some places, "catch the bus" means to get laid!
Be careful in which country you want to go for a bus ride! hahaha
P.

My dad used to tell a story from when he was in school in the 1940's, and a teacher got mad at some kids who were "having intercourse in the back of the room", and the poor teacher couldn't figure out why all the kids were laughing instead of shutting up! LOL
P.

As for the milk which is dropped you do not shout.

teehee! Definitely funny!

These are so classic! One of my favorites comes from a published book I read when I was about 10 or so (it was actually put out in the 60s) called, "English Well Speeched Here," (the cover was an actual photograph of a sign in a Morrocan restaurant window).

The gem I have never been able to shale from memory was found in Carnival season in Vienna:

"THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR WHEN THE FIREMEN, THE POLICEMEN, THE LAWYERS AND THE DOCTORS ALL ASSEMBLE TO HOLD THEIR BALLS."

lol. I can see where this could get quite entertaining.

Japanese candy? I never thought about candy in Japan, not sure why.

:D awesome!