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SIX ORDINARY HOUSEHOLD USES FOR UNICORNS
By Mythological Mimi

Dear Mythological Mimi-

Not long ago, my dear Great Aunt Betty passed away. While I wasn't particularly close to her, we did share a love of rainbows, puppies and sparkles. I assume this commonality was behind her reasoning to will me her beloved collection of unicorns. However, I find myself completely at a loss when it comes to what to do with them. I don't have any flaxen haired maidens at hand, nor any honorable knights searching for quest. I'm completely at a loss! Should I bite the bullet and toss them in the thrift shop bin?

Nonplussed in Nantucket

Dear Nonplussed,

Unicorns, long since known for a top notch source of antidotes, aphrodisiacs, and dragon defense have sometimes been considered quaint, outmoded or even imaginary in today's world. Well...bah on them! Here, I have collected just a few modern and everyday uses for unicorns:

an image of a pink unicorn at a carnival with rings being tossed onto its horn

Ring Toss!

a girl with cowboy boots and a cowboy hat flying a unicorn over a balding boss man, who looks very impressed and has stars in his eyes

Impressing your boss!

a unicorn in a martini glass with a green olive impaled on its horn

Cocktail Pick!

the same girl riding the unicorn but this time an old starry eyed lady is watching

Impressing your grandma!

a unicorn underwater wearing a narwhal fin while a boat of whale watchers point from a ship

Narwhal impersonation!

the same girl riding a unicorn but this time a starry eyed yellow dog is watching

Impressing your dog!

Readers with more helpful unicorn tips may write (delivered by owl, fairy or intergalactic starcraft only please!) to:

Mythological Mimi
777 Cottingley Way
Ham-on-Rye, Opensmouth 12345

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