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hug_machine
WHY HELLO THERE, DEAR GENTLEFOLK!
Welcome to the Rad-ocratic People's Fantasi-public of Hugistan! I'm the Supreme Celestial Ruler of this fair land, Cat Von Cattington the Sixth. The Rad-ocratic People's Fantasi-public of Hugistan, otherwise known as North Hugistan, is snuggled neatly in the majestic borderlands of Western Portugal and Eastern Bahrain. Though small in size, North Hugistan has a little something for everyone.
Namely, rules. On signs. Yes, our signs are the pride of this nation and they can be seen dotting the landscape as far as the eye can see --on wooden stakes in meticulously manicured lawns, on lamp posts, on park benches. Even taped to the backs of our smallest Hugistanian geeks.
Indeed, our sign and rule technology is highly advanced --unparalleled by other modern countries. A sign like No Littering --two simple words without so much as a single punishment defined-- might be fine for our underprivileged cousins in South Hugistan, but in Rad-ocratic People's Fantasi-public of Hugistan, you won't be left wondering what if.
Observe:
You see, the sign clearly lets you know what will happen if you do not heed the it. The consequences are all spelled out on the sign, as clear as the sign itself!
Let's take a look at some of our other state-of-the-art punishments:
Beware Of Dog. If you do not beware of dogs, or at least be aware of dogs, the dogs will get lonely. A lonely dog seeks out the company of other dogs, which unavoidably leads to doggy friendships. Doggy friends are highly likely to while away their time in seedy coffee-shops, reading modern philosophy that dares question the great peerless wisdom of our government. Thus, to not beware of dog is to support a government mutiny. Sentence is 99 years in sign-making labor camp.
Keep Off The Lawn. If you do not keep off the lawn, the cool blades of grass may tickle the your toesies upon an idyllic summer's day. The grass will then obtain DNA from the soles of your feet and use it in their lawn-laboratory to produce freakish plant-human hybrids, which will clearly be prone to civil unrest, as having spent the majority of their lives underground makes them particularly prone to underground and subversive thinking. Thus, to not keep off the lawn is to support government mutiny. Sentence is 99 years in sign-making labor camp.
Do Not Feed The Birds. If you feed the birds, the birds will develop an appetite for human foods, which will encourage them to evolve their brains and communal structure into an agricultural society. As we all know, birds can fly, which gives them an advantage over human beings. Thus, the new bird society would rapidly overtake our human society. And, as we know, birds are clearly capitalists like our unfortunate cousins in South Hugistan. Thus, to feed the birds is to support government mutiny. Sentence is 99 years in sign-making labor camp.
Do Not Enter. If you enter, you will see things beyond your current ability to comprehend. Talking bears, laughing gnomes, houses made of glitter and magical bountiful, healthy crops that manage to feed an entire country and other things that would only make sense to somebody attempting to finish an LJ Idol entry at four in the morning. And if you did enter a door marked with this sign, you may question the very fabric and sanity of reality, which naturally leads to questioning the strength of one's government. Thus, to ignore Do Not Enter signs is to support government mutiny. Sentence is 99 years in sign-making labor camp.
As even lowly foreigners such as you can see, our sign & rule industry proudly dominates global sign & rule innovation. Yet this is only one facet of the brilliant gem that is North Hugistan.
We are confident that if you book an extended holiday in our fair country, you will be impressed beyond your formerly known impressibility. You will gasp in awe over our signs, now available in 37 different language. You will delight in obeying rules and know exactly what to expect should you trespass!
You will love North Hugistan. The signs all point to it. In fact, you may never leave.
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-20 03:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-20 03:49 am (UTC)...!.....!.,;1,;L,:XXX
/falls over and starts snoring
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Date: 2009-12-20 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:15 pm (UTC)...so long as you OBEY! ♥
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Date: 2009-12-20 03:58 am (UTC)This is a gorgeous lj idol entry. :D
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Date: 2009-12-21 08:16 pm (UTC)♥ TY!
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Date: 2009-12-20 04:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:18 pm (UTC)X3
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Date: 2009-12-20 06:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:19 pm (UTC)XDDDD TY! ♥
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Date: 2009-12-20 08:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:19 pm (UTC)X3 ♥
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Date: 2009-12-20 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:21 pm (UTC)...and there's plenty o' both here, bwahaha! ♥
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Date: 2009-12-20 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:22 pm (UTC)TY! ♥
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Date: 2009-12-20 10:38 pm (UTC)Keep on doin' what you do. <3
no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:23 pm (UTC)...but hopefully I can sleep moar next time. X3
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Date: 2009-12-21 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:26 pm (UTC)LACK OF SLEEP HELPS THE CRAZY, THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY.
XD ♥
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Date: 2009-12-21 01:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 02:29 am (UTC)*giggle*
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Date: 2009-12-21 08:28 pm (UTC)XD TY! ♥
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Date: 2009-12-21 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:31 pm (UTC)Eeee, that makes *ME* smile. ♥
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Date: 2009-12-21 03:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:32 pm (UTC)If I ever become a professor, I'm gonna write my entire syllabus in LOLcat. XD ♥
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Date: 2009-12-21 05:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:33 pm (UTC)TY! ♥
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Date: 2009-12-21 08:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:35 pm (UTC)It's been kinda a while, hasn't it?
♥
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Date: 2009-12-21 11:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:36 pm (UTC)kidnappingemploying more translators everyday!XD
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Date: 2009-12-21 03:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-21 08:39 pm (UTC)♥
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Date: 2009-12-22 02:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 09:53 pm (UTC)♥
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Date: 2009-12-23 05:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-24 07:29 pm (UTC)