hug_machine: (Default)
[personal profile] hug_machine
Hey you! You with the face! Are you a contestant in an internet-based journaling contest? If so, how many times has this happened to you:

Day 1 Ooooh, a new topic. Breaking the Fast? I can do a lot with this one, it's gonna be fun!

Day 2 
I could post awesome pancake recipes, or do a little dance about bacon and eggs, I could--

Day 3 
Yes, I'll get to it right after this mound of homework, picking up the extra shift at work, picking my goldfish up from school and thoroughly flossing my toenails.

Day 4 
That's it! I'm gonna sing a song about the time they closed the whole highway near my house during fourth of July weekend and every street in town was bumper to bumper. Get it...BRAKING the fast? No? Hokay, maybe not...

Day 5  
AAAAH IT'S DUE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAS NO TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!1 IF ONLY I HAD A MILLION MONKEYS WITH A MILLION TYPEWRITERS THAT COULD SOMEHOW SHRINK DOWN AND GO INTO MY BRAINS LIKE SOME KIND OF MAGIC SCHOOL BUS MONKEY EDITION AND PULL OUT MY CLEVEREST IDEAS THEN UNSHRINK AND TYPE THE BEST ONES UP!!!

Cat dressed up as Billy Mays holding a bucket o LJOMATICWell now you can! That's right, it's the CATASTIC, CATERFFIC, CATULOUS, LJ-O-MATIC!

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- Pictures of fake mustaches drawn on friends/babies/pets/houseplants
- SPARKLES (for an extra fee)

 
Let's take a look at a sample piece:
 
 
There I was, standing up to my __(body part)__ in __(noun)__. My only choice was to __(verb present tense)__, and quickly. I thought back to the words my __(relative)__ told me during my __(adjective ending in -est)__ days, "Never __(verb present tense)__ the __(adjective)__ __(animal)__." It was a very  __(adjective)__ sentiment, and one I will carry with me to the end of my __(noun plural)__. Please vote for me!!
 
Just fill in the blanks and you're off!  With LJ-O-MATIC, journaling is easier than ice cream through a funnel!

But don't take my word for it, let's hear from some of our happy customers:

a picture of Lisa Simpson Before LJ-O-MATIC, I resorted to drawing faces on fruit, fingers and other sundry items! My entries were full of crack, eye-bleed and not very coherent. Now, thanks to LJ-O-MATIC, I actually have words in my entries!
                                                                                                                                                                                  - [livejournal.com profile] lisasimpson 

a picture of Rick AstleySince using LJ-O-MATIC, my comment numbers have tripled! Most of the comments might be in Russian and redirecting to dirty sites, but I know they're doing it because they love me!
                                                                                                                                                                                  - [livejournal.com profile] nevergonna 

A picture of a green monster from Monsters IncOnce upon a time, I wasted days creating entries explaining rocket surgery via pictures of cute bunnies. It ate up my life and I was starting to smell like the internet. Nowadays, I just rev up LJ-O-MATIC and I'm done in five minutes. Thanks, LJ-0-MATIC!
                                                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                                                                   - [livejournal.com profile] rawr 
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Operators are standing by for your call. 

This entry brought to you by [livejournal.com profile] therealljidol . Vote for me!!! XD

Also, Cat is not responsible for any scary services the number above may offer.  IT IS ALL A LIE!!! >>

Date: 2010-03-04 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zia-narratora.livejournal.com
I LOVE YOU CAT.

Date: 2010-03-04 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hug-machine.livejournal.com
I LOVE YOU TEA.

Date: 2010-03-04 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hug-machine.livejournal.com
XD I'm glad it was lol-worthy!

Date: 2010-03-04 12:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beautyofgrey.livejournal.com
I need this, post-haste!

♥ You're too much fun!

Date: 2010-03-04 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hug-machine.livejournal.com
Y'know, I might have a business plan on my hands here! XD

Date: 2010-03-04 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oneonthefence.livejournal.com
This is beyond awesome and cute. I love your posts!

Date: 2010-03-04 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hug-machine.livejournal.com
D'awwh, TY!

Date: 2010-03-04 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stoopid-silly.livejournal.com
LOLL XD BRB, picking my goldfish up from school

Date: 2010-03-04 04:13 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-03-04 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixie117.livejournal.com
This is great! Very creative!

Date: 2010-03-04 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hug-machine.livejournal.com
D'awwh, I'm glad you liked it, deario!

Date: 2010-03-04 03:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rattsu.livejournal.com
*cracks up* Oh I thought it would be a procrastinating meta first... how wrong I was! it was brilliant, as always. *writes down number just in case*

Date: 2010-03-04 04:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hug-machine.livejournal.com
Well, it did start like that, but the spirit of Billy Mays floated in and took control. XD

Date: 2010-03-04 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cacophonesque.livejournal.com
Is Billy Mays your new fashion consultant?

Loved it!

Date: 2010-03-04 04:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hug-machine.livejournal.com
Heck yes, the beard is eternal!

Date: 2010-03-04 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com
I hope I will never require these services XD

Date: 2010-03-04 04:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hug-machine.livejournal.com
I'd probably use 'em if I could!

Date: 2010-03-04 04:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawchicky.livejournal.com
Hee! There are moments I think we could all use one of these.

Date: 2010-03-04 10:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joeymichaels.livejournal.com
BEFORE I USED LJOMATIC I WAS A BASKET CASE WHO COLLAPSED UNDER PRESSURE EVERY WEEK BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND LET MY CAT WRITE SOMETHING FOR ME! SINCE LJOMATIC, I AM 20 POUNDS LIGHTER, HAVE DEVELOPED A BEAUTIFUL BARITONE SINGING VOICE AND AM MARRIED TO BJORK. THANK YOU LJOMATIC!

Date: 2010-03-04 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baxaphobia.livejournal.com
I'm dying here! The tears are streaming, the nose is running. My husbaand thinks I've lost it! haha

Date: 2010-03-04 07:28 pm (UTC)
shadowwolf13: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shadowwolf13
*giggle* Awesome! :)

Date: 2010-03-05 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mstrobel.livejournal.com
You got me at pancakes and now I'm hungry XD

Date: 2010-03-06 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kittenboo.livejournal.com
hahaha adorable! I could have really used it this week too!

Date: 2010-03-06 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karmasoup.livejournal.com
But... but... but...

*whine*

I still want monkeys...

*pout*


;)

Date: 2010-03-06 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] markmade.livejournal.com
Hahaha I love your entires :)

Date: 2010-03-06 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roina-arwen.livejournal.com
This is made of win! =)

Date: 2010-03-06 06:11 pm (UTC)
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